Is Love that Hard?

My first love was something I could never forget. We were all friends in third grade. He sat behind me and I could feel my body getting hotter by the minute. I turned around and smiled a friendly, warm smile. “Hi,” I said. He looked up from his neatly handwritten homework. A reply came out from his pink, soft looking lips, “Hey Wendy.” I felt like I would faint. He wasn’t taller than me but he was not that short, in third grade most guys were shorter than me. I loved the way he smiled. We knew each other since kindergarten, me, my best friend, and him. We laughed together and hung out together. I started liking him since the day he moved to the seat behind me. I snap back to reality as I remember that he was talking to me. He smiles at me, then returned to do his work. He was a guy to die for. I just loved his sweet smile, his rough black hair, his twinkling brown eyes, his soft pink colored lips, his slender body, his soft smooth skin, and his nice sweetly scented breath. All his features are so dreamy.

One day, my best friend, Maria, came over to my place for a sleepover and we were talking about who we like. “So who do you like?” I asked. I looked up at her but her head was down; looking at the notebook she was doodling in. She paused for a long time and finally stopped and she was really quiet at first. “Um… you won’t tell anyone right?” “I’m your best friend,” I said. “I like…. Reece…” she answered. When I heard the name, my heart shattered. “You like Reece?” I asked. “Yeah, he’s so cute, and when he smiles, my heart skips a beat.” At that moment I knew I had no chance. “Wendy…. Wendy….” “Huh?” I snapped back to reality. Then I was like “Oh, sorry.” “So who do you like?” she asked. I was like I don’t like anyone. I was too spaced out to answer her. I couldn’t think straight, she keep talking to me but all I heard was blah, blah, blah. My best friend likes the person I liked. I was so crushed. I felt like I was in a small room and all the walls were closing in on me. I wasn’t in pain or sorrow, I was just sad that my best friend liked the guy I like, I knew I could never stand a chance anymore. I felt like this was a nightmare. This was all a bad dream and I would soon wake up to it.

A year passes and we we’re in 4^th grade, I kept my love a secret. One day after school I was talking to Reece and the question popped up. “So, Reece, who do u like?” “Why?” he asked. “Oh, no reason, I’m just curious.” “Oh okay, but you can’t tell her okay? Well I like….. Maria. She’s cool and all.” At the sound of my best friend’s name, my heart ached, my chest felt tighter, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I always knew he liked her and I could always tell but I need to know for sure that I was correct. There it was the clear answer that I have waited so long to hear. I was like “Cool, that’s totally cool, I think she likes you too!” At that time there was no way I could tell him how I felt, so all long I just kept it in my heart. He was my first but won’t be my last as I have liked many other boys after him. It wasn’t a big deal, he likes my best friend and I was happy for them, because they both liked each other and they still do till this day. He wasn’t the only one that I couldn’t forget but still were good friends and one night over the internet I told him how I felt. He said he knew, he said he always knew and even if he knew I wanted to tell him myself, that I had really liked him. I had never felt the way I felt when I first saw him, even though we were friends since kindergarten, I never felt the way I felt in third grade when I noticed that he was in my class. My heart would skip a beat ever time he smiled at me, I felt like I couldn’t breathe when he called my name. I would blush when our hands accidently touch eat other. I have never felt like that before and I was wondering what was wrong with me. Even though now I don’t like him anymore, I still remember that he was my first love.